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Uta Santos, Austria
Remedy unknown to provers and supervisors
PHARMACY OF REMEDY IN PROVING
Salvator- Pharmacy (A)
Description of the substance
A homeopathic drug proving- now termed a homeopathic pathogenetic trial- of BANISTERIOPSIS CAAPI
Eine homöopathische Arzneimittelprüfung von Banisteriopsis Caapi
CAAPI -the fresh leaves of the Caapi- Liane
--- emotionless slow-down of being, engine slowed down one step. Waiting- position
--- hearing a bit reduced, humming
--- sensation as if the basis (?bottom?) of mouth is swollen. Lower jaw as if too big, tongue thick and heavy, margins of lids thicker, burning cramps in stomach with an attack of perspiration.
--- tongue and bottom of mouth thickly swollen, thick and heavy lids.
--- sensation as if I would shrink at the back side and becoming wider, like a rainworm but not into the forward
direction but backwards, a fat, strong round sensation of taking yourself backwards because one just did a lot and this moment, it is only to keep what is.
--- pain in neck and muscles of external throat. Head sinks backwards downwards without the muscles holding it. Chin is falling into internal throat (fällt in den Hals hinein), inbetween stitching pain in right middle earand in urethra, drawing pain during urination.
--- lids rub against eye, as if not enough moisture in eyes.
--- sensation of not being existent
--- Hell-like glowing heat in pelvis, as if it would burst.
--- sensation to be a reptile-like animal (Firepanther) with fiery eyes (or phosphorizing)
--- heat in face, red cheeks
--- self-doubt, sensation of being not enough, fears, destructiveness.
--- strong tension, as if slightly trembling up to tips of fingers and toes
--- pain in right upper musculus trapezius, when I want to put my head onto my shoulder.
--- very sensitive to touch, a bright, sharp pain.
--- pain in ,m. trapezius still there
--- skin and lips very dry, I feel stiff and it is difficult to show emotions
--- thoughts are slow. I have to concentrate, tired, unrefreshed sleep, closed emotionally, I am happy to be alone, it is rather annoying to talk to someone.
--- stool has not been this healthy since weeks (not sticky)
--- much appetite
--- Tonsils swollen, pain on swallowing, good bowel motion.
--- 10 p.m.(22 Uhr) pressing headache ( as if a stone would be on head)
--- mentally calm (not as usual)
--- throat, as if someone would slightly squeeze my throat, complaints with swallowing.
--- slightly squeezed sensation like before
--- I put on my house-shoes wrongly.
--- Itching of left earlobe and left elbow at 3 in the afternoon.
--- At 3 in the afternoon (3 a.m.?) strong itching of left palm.
--- Since 11 a.m. slight pain below right hollow of knee, agg. Towards the evening. If I keep my leg still, it “falls asleep”. Pain when walking but amel. with slow walking.
--- Same pain in right leg
--- Same pain and “falling asleep” of leg . slow by slow, the complaints disappear.
--- Itching in inner corners of eyes, touch agg, itching at back, legs and arms, when scratching, it comes up again on another place of the body.
--- Itching in inner corners of eyes as before, itching around hips and inner thighs.
--- Psychic condition very good
--- Psychic condition very well, itching inner corners of eyes
--- Itching inner corners of eyes, sensitive gums, itching lower lip
--- Stiff neck, itching at the outer sides of lower arms and shoulders, in the afternoon until evening
--- Itching until lunch time
--- Waking 4:30 in the morning
--- Waking 4:00 in the morning
--- Waking 4:30 in the morning
--- Slight pressure in region of chest, sad and melancholic,, want to stay alone,did weep
--- Pressure in region of chest, which changes into warmth. Mood gets better, sadness becomes inner calmness.
--- Despite less sleep, I feel quite awake, sensation of warmth in region of chest, feel centered, emerald-green
--- Warmth in region of chest
--- Sensation of warmth as before
--- A “strange sensation at my gums”, desire to stitch into it with something sharp or pinlike
--- perspiration at night (neck and upper body (chest and upper back)
--- 6 to 7 o’clock itching around navel with redness
--- very sensitive skin while shaving
--- burning in urethra at 4:00 afternoon
Sensation as if blocked, with origin at the place between eyebrows, like a chronic sinusitis, with difficulty to concentrate, feeling of being “beside oneself”. This goes away after the first dosis of the proving remedy, since she can concentrate much better (six weeks later), not “beside herself” any more, the stopped sensation has gone.
--- emotional heartache
--- motherly, softy consoling, dissolving
--- I realize my own inner beauty.
--- I simply forgot a date.
Psychic lability and depressive mood is clearly better during proving, feeling of being able much better to face problems.
--- free of fears! Not as much depressed as usual
--- frontal headache from 9:30 in the evening
--- woke up very early before 5:00:
--- woke up at 3:00 in the morning
--- Flatulence, softer stools, sticky, light-brown colored
--- vaginal itching
--- much scales and fatty hair
--- flatulence, soft, sticky stools, lighter as usual in color, I have to press hard but still have the sensation that the final bowels are still full
3 days after the proving, pain in left ankle reappear, which has been gone during the proving.
--- vertigo forenoon until going to sleep
--- waking between 5 and 5 o’clock vertigo
--- sad, existential fears, being not good enough, (physically and jobwise)
--- sensation as if the brain would be placed in a too large, open, bowl with fluid, all is very instable and dizzy
--- sad, existential fear
--- difficulty to concentrate on myself
From 6.day on: much strength, energy, longing for the sun, erotic dreams. Suddenly, sexuality and erotic themes are there.
--- waking 6 o’clock 6
--- sensation of fullness in abdomen, nausea, no hunger
--- new (?): likes to make decisions
--- very active, happy to be able to learn (unusual)
--- lost sensation
--- thin- skinned
--- waking around 5 o’clock in the morning soles of feet as if fallen asleep (numb) on awakening (this was never before )
--- itching in inguinal region on awakening
--- sudden pain in stomach, pressure from inside out (hot bath amel.)
--- more thirsty than usual. Juice, mandarines, desire for salad
--- 12 o’clock menses-like pain in right lower abdomen, gone after one hour
--- 1 o’clock in the afternoon stitching pain under nail of left middle finger, llasting for some seconds
--- tremor in legs while falling asleep at midnight ( hinders to fall asleep twice)
--- 2 o’clock in the afternoon stitching pain under nail of left big toe
--- crisis in feeling of self worth, fear of becoming forsaken
--- one o’clock in the afternoon: itching at root of nail of left big toe
--- small boil at left inner lip of vulva
--- lousy sensation without weeping, I withdraw (unusual)
--- gastritis since 2 days (old symptom, but this time without cause, stone- sensation in stomach
--- 8 o’clock stitching pain in left bend of elbow while walking quickly
--- stitching pain under left ribbow as if of stitching in sides, warmth amel.
--- sensation of dependency (like a dog, not to mention any wishes, adapting)
--- stomach pains are lasting
--- 4 o’clock in the afternoon: vertigo without reason, small absence, find myself sitting, Tendency to be unshaped in a way. (Neigung, mich zu “verwischen”)
--- after taking the remedy, I feel suddenly euphoric, a fresh, light physical sensation, mood decreases towards the evening
--- complaints with swallowing when swallowing empty.
--- stitching pain in head, first at right upper side, the stitches are wandering in head, slight vertigo
--- one time a stitching pain in upper arm shortly before falling asleep (like a short pain in nerves)
--- sensation as if the heart would beat louder than usual (while lying)
--- depressed, weepy (long time ago), don’t know what I want, all seems to be black
--- stitching pain in head
--- scraping sensation in throat
--- sad mood, fearful, amel. towards evening
--- again stitching in head (from inside outwards) but is not hindering, sometimes a mintlike, cool, light physical sensation
--- on and off a slight vertigo
--- waking with headache, arising from the nape of neck (tension) ameliorated after rising.
--- for several seconds total disturbance of vision ( as if looking on hot, flirring, trembling air and as if having a “Raster” in front
--- sometimes vertigo
--- sometimes stitching headaches at different places
--- angry without cause, kind of awkwardness, bump head against something and burn myself at the oven, angry, bursting into tears.
--- anxiety to become alone and not being able to be alone
--- extremely dry skin after taking the shower
--- the whole day as if walking in a dream, heavy lids, one time a wave of anger, rage (old symptom long time ago )
--- attacks of sadness, as if in fog, my body is heavy and slow, as if my cells would have double weight, total passivity and deeply sad, slow and lazy.
--- pain in throat, lump sensation at left side, chilly
--- longing for cozyness and warm caring
--- attack of deep sadness, overpowering pain, pain left throat, short pain and swelling right upper gums in the evening, tired and lazy feeling
--- physically comfortable feeling, by being passive, people turn towards me.
--- waves of heat in upper body, cold shivers on skin
--- between 4 anda 5 o’clock in the afternoon: stitching in chest- and region of diaphragm, especially in the pause after expiration.
--- I feel my heart and all the love which I lived and which I did not live
3.day: “ a car race was performed in daily traffic with a slight accident. Another but me was the driver (unusual dream.
Comment and explanation:
A man was driving, not unknown to me but I don’t know who he is. We drive aimlessly south-east in the direction of Kagran. I don’t like to drive there, I feel safe in this car, could be there without fear. The accident, where nothing serious happened, is sorted out and no problems left. Car races: from time to time, I like to drive very fast.
A speed-up of energy in daily life, which is aimless and inadequate and which is not yet under control of the dreamer
7.day: "I went onto a snow-mountain together with a good friend, during wintertime and skiing. It was a known way but was much steeper than it is in reality. Nevertheless, I felt good with only slight fear. While asending, the dream ends”
Comment and explanation::
It was a friend with whom I have much in common, as well concerning personal difficulties. Clear sensation of safety, not much fear. We will make it, I feel responsible and conscious of my responsibility.
A push of energy upwards, a second energy (of a friend) joining, like in the first dream
4.day: “suddenly I lost my teeth. They simply fell out of my mouth.”
Comment and explanation:
Shocked and astonished, they were all healthy teeth.”
5..day: "in another dream I went skiing. I only remember skiing downhills alone, which is unusual for me in reality. Where I went was deep snow. Skiing there was really easy, relaxed, swinging and without any effort, it was just wonderful. ( in reality I am not used to skiing in deep snow) Suddenly the snow was nearly gone and I went down skiing over gras and mud until I reached the ski-station, where I met my father and my brother.
Easiness, the experience that something is possible, which usually is a fight, to let go, to move playfully.
2.day: " I dream about the proving, that the remedy is named Antimonium. Nothing happens at the day of intake, in the evening before going to sleep, my body is in complete cramps (especially my face. The whole timeI am forced to make a kind of fish-like mouth. This is combined with the fear to become insane. I decide to call the supervisor of the proving to ask for help. Then I cannot remember really to have called someone, but I am at a place where the other participants of the proving are present. To them, the same happened. They all tell that they cannot take the remedy any more because they got this strong fear and these cramps.
Comment and explanation:
"Fear to really become insane in the dream, that I let go any sense of reality, that I cannot communikate any more and then have to live on my own in big fear. Anti- monium (the provers name is : Monika.)
sensation of isolation--- drug theme
8.day "I am in a shop for ? carpets? Together with another person ( I don’t know who, if it was a man or a woman). The shop is huge and everywhere there are lying colorful carpets. Then I realize that we are persecuted. It is not clear who is persecuting us but I know that the persecutor wants to forcefully give a remedy to the person joining me. I try to save my companion. The persecutor changes into any possible figure (even into a rat). Ich versuche, meinen Begleiter zu retten. At some moment, I become thirsty and I drink from a little bottle. I guess there is water in but it is the remedy, which tastes pungent. I realize this too late and try to vomit, but this does not work. I am shocked to have this poison now inside me. Somehow it becomes clear (I think due to laboratory- testing) that my vital force is minimized for 8 months. I was shown as well a diagram to explain this. Finally I calm down with this condition..
Comment and explanation:
With the companion I had a friendly relationship. The shop, huge, 2 etages (?), I can take whatever I want, this is nice, I love persian carpets, to me, they create a feeling of being home, cozyness, shelter.
To calm down with this condition means: not to fight any more (I usually yield quite quickly as well), and it does not really matter, sunny, so I am just a bit shut-off, meaning the contact to the outside world is a bit reduced, but I feel light and inside myself.
A “poison” which is bringing her back to herself and makes her feel easy, given by something rat-like, which usually is seen as something dark, gnawing at the soul, which is reducing the vital force. The inner comment of the unconscious about the Caapi- reaction on the prover
1.day "I got a strange letter from my daughter. She really tried to tell me something, because I actually had not much time for her. Only I could not read this letter, as he was written in a strange way. LHH HLH LHL HLL HLL HHH LHH LLH
Comment and explanation:
Daughter, 8 years of age, is angry that I don’t understand, that I don’t have time for her, she needs a lot of affection, she feels a bet neglected
A younger, neglected part is coming up and stays misunderstood in its digital speech, a part which needs a lot of motherly care ( of the dreamer towards herself). Something which could become important in the future.
2.day. "I am in Prague with my friend for some holidays. We drive down a road. There are deep “Graben” alongside the road, it is heavily raining. While driving this raod (downhills) at the side of the raod, the “Graben” is under the car between the wheels. With chance, it worked. I am keeping a long stick and an umbrella but nevertheless, we get totally wet and dirty. Then we drive back to the “Vermieterin”. She askes if she should give us a little table and something to drink outside in the garden in front of the house. We take a shower and in addition, I go to a boutique to buy fresh clothes, but I cannot find something I like and leave the shop without new clothes
Comment and explanation:
The car is an open Cabriolet, freedom, to sense the things close-to-skin, being vulnerable, being in the middle of something.
Prague: I once went there to buy “die gerettete Zunge” by Elias Canetti (a book). Prague is dirty, gray, in the dream, it was dirty brown.
Deep “Graben” to the left and the right of the road, there was only a small part left for the wheels, usually, I would have felt fear. The friend is easily escaping. When I moved into his flat, he took a job in another town. The wooden stick in left hand, thin, long and flexible, supportive to reach some place, like a paraglider, as it is used for high jumping.
A male aspect with the tendency of escaping is on its way relatively unsheltered, which seems to be as well somehow too bold. The turning brings calmness, good weather, cleaning, nourishment.
“the saved tongue”- the ability to express oneself with words and then escaping? (see next dream)
2.dream: "I am searching the word “word” on the map of Canada and cannot find it”.
Canada, vacation, very beautiful, a friend wants to move over there, but then, he would escape
To escape into words instead ---to be? To stay? To feel? Literature as a “second-hand-life” instead of the own life??
6.day: There is a precious treasure found inside a mountain, something really precious, but nobody knows how to get hold of this treasure. The area looks like it looks in Cannyons with mountains alongside, many plants, like in tropic areas. Men are sanding around and discuss. A young woman with short blond hair is standing restlessly next to these men as well because she knows a “patent” (a kind of protected label) to free the hidden, but this is not recognized by these men.
I am driving in a car with my father in my hometown. He is driving. It is his last possibility to do so, as later he will die or somehow this is his last joy to be experienced by him. We are gliding in a big, comfortable car on the streets of this village. My father asks me what I want to do after University, where I want to specialize in. I tell him what for sure will not be in question, which is surgery, radiology… but that I would be very interested in internal medicine, neurology or psychiatry..
2.day: I have to take care of a young boy. The boy and I are going to a staircase, which he wants to ascend. He ascends and I stay close behind him to take care, but shortly before he reached the top, he does not hold on any more and falls down. He falls completely on his front side. I am standing at the top, totally shocked. After 10 days he leaves hospital. I meet him when he was just inline-scating and he asks me, if I would join him. I still feel guilty that I was not able to prevent his fall and refuse.
It is important to really hold on if one wants to reach the very top. Otherwise, there is this danger of falling down- onto the unprotected part (abdomen) (not to get rid of the connection, “Erdung”, down-to-earth
Inline – skates: easy movement in horizontal directionn.
5.day: I am in Ramsau at my grandma’S place together with the son of my aunt. When I just wanted to drive home, my parents arrive. I stay, my elder brother and some relatives from England are coming as well. In the moment we want to sit in the car, a “Überfall” happens. 4 or 5 armed men are standing around. One of them I slightly provoked, he pushes me down onto the floor- I am lying completely under the car, the head under the bumpers. One of the robbers goes crazy, wild shoutings.. the situation is escalating, now I press myself with all my force under the car for shelter and pray. The situation ends in a wild shooting. I have closed my eyes and prayed. The sensation that the time is not passing by. Suddenly blood from one of the gunmen, who stood next to the car, runs on my tummy. Then silence fell, all is over. I come out from under the car and sit down on the street in front of the “Gartenzaun” of my grandma. I am happy that nothing happened to me. While sitting there, I see all the dead lying on the floor. I start to search and see my father and my brother lying there. I run towards my brother, take his head into my hands and weep (while holding him like that, his head falls backwards lifeless). I did not understand the thing with my father. When I bend over to him, he is coming around as someone alive in the same time. He helps cleaning the situation, carries the wounded, the dead, even himself (the dead) he carries away. In the dream I ask him: this is not possible, there you are lying and in the same time, you are alive and are sorting out?(aufräumen) ? He answers: even if you don’t understand right now, it is like that. Then they carry away my brother—first, I believe, into the house, but when I search him, I cannot find him. My mother comes towards me and asks if I did say good bye to my brother, as after the 2 years, due to his studies he goes to Chicago. While saying this, she passes me. I turn and shout after her, totally exhausted and angry:”…wanted to go!”
passive experience of wild forces, closing (inner) eyes not to see it, praying, waiting. Together with the alive, dead father comes a deep wisdom, the one who is deeply injured is coming for structured help, is undestroyable on a deeper level and can cure..
An image for simultanuous ( correct word?) phenomena
2.day: I want to go shoping to Palmers. I shall go to an employee there named Erika- a am having a “Gutschein”. When I arrive there, she is busy with another customer. They are talking about this and that, nothing moves on, they don’t look at me. I announce myself with some grudging (slight grudging, as I feel guilty) and I am refused by them. I say I will go into another Palmers- shop. The woman named Erika is making a remark on my “Gutschein” that I am a displeasing customer. Then, seemingly in the same dream, I amtogether with some people I know, whom I now cannot identify and a doctor whom I am friends with. This doctor speaks about gaining weight and diet and speaks with quite some disrespect (usually he is a lovely man) that I am the only one who cannot keep good physical figure.
A third sequency, I think in the same dream:
A man is coughing a lot, other people are mentioning with disrespect how disagreable it is, to always have to listen to this coughing. I feel guilty because I as well cough a lot.
In this dream I felt very low selfesteem. This feeling I know (from my youth
To draw displeasing attention- by demanding, by –as the only one- not fulfilling the normal rules, by being “lästig
To be an outsider
From the psychic point of view Caapi seems to be curative for people who suffer of the following emotions:
Fear insanity, to give up reality, not to be able to express oneself, to have to live alone in big fear, to get rid of the connection to earth, nothing to hold on to, fear of falling.
Not to belong, to be an outsider, to feel low selfworth and dependency (adapted like a dog), fear of becoming forsaken.
To feel unable to deal with the usual problems, all appears black, lability, depressed, weepy.
As if walking in a dream, shaky, dizzy, tendency to become unshaped, as if in fog, beside oneself, as if blocked, walking on an aimless
Emotionless slowed down, sluggy, heavy, forgetful, unable to concentrate.
To withdraw, escape, upwards ( into head, into transcendence into books )