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Susan Sonz and Robert Stewart
Hahnemannian proving, double blind trial
remedy unknown to the 10 provers and 10 supervisors
PHARMACY OF REMEDY IN PROVING
Hahnemann Pharmacy, Michael Quinn
Description of the substance
A homeopathic drug proving- now termed a homeopathic pathogenetic trial- of musca domestica, the common house fly
Eine homöopathische Arzneimittelprüfung der gewöhnlichen Hausfliege
by Susan Sonz, CCH and Robert Stewart, CCH
"If thought is life
and strength and breath
and the want
Of thought is death
Then am I
A little fly
If I live
Or if I die."
The common house fly is ubiquitous. Wherever you find human habitation, you will hear its infernal buzz. It is as close to humanity as is the mammal. It is therefore surprising that it has never been proven before. During the last century, an ambitious homeopath proved a parasite of the fly (Trombidium), but until now no one has thought to prove the host.
Insects are a strange world. Voiceless and fully armored, they don't really have limbs as much as they have tools -- an assortment of saws and scissors, hammers and hooks. It is an awkwardly- jointed, segmented world where a mother may as dispassionately eat its young as it may eat its mate. It is a world that comprises over three-quarters of the total animal world. As the great naturalist, Maurice Maeterlinck, whose work on the ant is a classic, put it: "Something in the
insect seems to be alien to the habits, morals and psychology of this world, as if it had come from some other planet, more monstrous, more energetic, more insensate, more atrocious, more infernal than our own."
Musca domestica belongs to the family, muscoidea, the order, diptera, the class, insecta and the phylum, arthropoda. In the homeopathic materia medica, the chordates are represented by the milks mostly. There is a large grouping of arthropoda represented by the spiders. From the order, coleoptera, we have the important remedy, Cantharis. There is only one other member of the fly family in the materia medica, the mosquito (Culex), whose name is actually an illiteration of muscoidea.
The common fly is incredibly prolific. In one season, beginning in April, one fly may produce more offspring than the entire human population by a factor of four. Luckily, the fly is a great food for many other insects. This is especially true for the spider, its most natural enemy. There is even a traditional poem to that effect.
The fly, like all members of the class, insecta, and unlike the vertebrates (the chordates), has no internal skeletal system but is encased in an external support, called the exoskeleton. The so called wings are not real limbs like in the bird but are a kind of skin growing out of the thorax that vibrates to produce flight. The wings have to be continually cared for or they become unusable.
The head is dominated by two large eyes composed of hundreds of hexagonal lens each which permit 360 degrees of fractured vision. Between these complex eyes are three smaller eyes.
All members of the muscoidea family, like the butterfly, a distant cousin, go through complete metamorphosis. While most insects merely increase in size, periodically shedding their exoskeleton, flies, butterflies and moths become totally and magically transformed from one stage to the next: egg -- maggot/caterpillar -- pupa/chrysalis -- fly/butterfly. The butterfly has been called, for this reason, an apt symbol for the soul at death. The common house fly, however, has never shared in that distinction.
The fly has very unique feeding habits. For one thing, it is capable of tasting with its legs as it walks over the surface of potential food. On the other hand, it has no real mouth, no chewing apparatus, and is, therefore, unable to digest solid food. It drinks its food. It extends a long, soft proboscis which emits a saliva that literally dissolves the material and the fly then sucks it up like a straw. Favorite sources for food material are garbage dumps, trash cans, fecal matter,
unprotected cooked vegetables and meats, and spoiled and rancid food in general. Flies don't discriminate. They are often thus vectors for disease. (Note: Interestingly, we did not have the digestive issues in the proving that we expected. We assume this is because the fly that was potentized had just been hatched and had not eaten yet.) Science made great strides when it overcame an anthropomorphic interpretation of the natural world. The same must be extended now to homeopathy. Neither nature nor our patients are served by a facile "zoo-pomorphic" clinical judgment. Because she is endlessly busy, is given to a sarcasm that stings and has a regal bearing is no justification for a prescription of Apis
mellifica. We must always collaborate intuition with reliable symptomology from the provings. There are, however, a few characteristics of the life habits of the fly that have been confirmed by the proving and by (a limited) clinical experience.
1) Unlike most insects, which seem to exist in a milieu of dry warmth and air, flies have a connection to the wet and the earthly. Wherever you will find animal moisture, you will find flies. You see them collect en masse along the edges of wounds and on the eyelids of all farm animals. They seem to have an insatiable thirst. This is because, as noted before,
they are unable to eat food -- they must drink it. Many provers had dreams of water. Water was a theme that kept repeating itself in many ways.
2) Flies are attracted to sweets. This is what attracts them to fly paper. Over five provers
had a craving for sweets, specifically for chocolate.
3) Flies are very sensitive to cold. They move more slowly as the temperature drops, bumping stupidly into windows and walls. With the first frost, they drop "like flies". Almost all the provers experiences an increased sensitive to the cold.
4) All insects are encased in an exoskeleton. They have no real skin. The fly is especially attracted to wounds and abraded skin. (Some flies species even bury their eggs in skin of live animals; when the eggs hatch, the maggots feed on the flesh and a terrible ulcerative patch forms.) Many skin eruptions appeared in the proving. Musca domestica may be indicated in recurring herpetic eruptions.
5) Filth, trash, decomposing flesh, garbage and fecal matter are areas of special interest to the fly. So, too, with the provers. One prover thought the was being followed by garbage. There was a theme of corruption and decay. "Proverted" images appeared in life and in dreams. Many provers experienced disgust with their surroundings.
6) As mentioned before, flies are incredibly prolific. Many provers experienced an increased libido. But there was this caveat: the proclivity for a specific gender seemed to be ambiguous. Homosexuality and pornography were recurring themes throughout the proving and appeared in dreams and in delusions.
7) Finally, flies have always been connected with Beelzebub, the Lord of the Flies. They say that when the devil is abroad there's a smell of sulphur in the air, of something burnt, of something rotting. With some of the provers, there were either delusions of smell or increased sensitivity to smell in general.
When THE NEW YORK SCHOOL OF HOMEOPATHY decided to conduct a Hahnemanian proving, we reached out to the larger homeopathic community in New York for both provers and supervisors. Why did we select the common housefly? Because we wanted to expand the materia medica from the animal kingdom and we wanted to prove a very common substance. What better choice than a common pest that has plagued mankind from his beginning?
And so, after much amusing fly gathering and attempted storage, we realized instead, that a pupa should be sent to Michael Quinn at Hahnemann Pharmacy so it would be easily classified. As a promoter of provings, Michael generously made 12 vials of 30c potency for us. (It should be noted that there was no way for Michael to know whether it was male or female, and we are not sure whether or not this is important.)
We followed the instructions laid out in Jeremy Sherr's The Dynamics and Methodology of Homoeopathic Provings, and printed separate pages of instructions for provers and supervisors to be handed out at our first meeting on January 27, 1999. There was one supervisor for every prover and they were asked to communicate daily. The remedy was distributed on February 10, after two weeks of journal entries in order to help establish previous states. Each prover was
asked to call the supervisor after each dose of the remedy- and they were told not to take even a second dose if they felt any symptoms at all.
Needless to say, some provers took more of the remedy than they needed, and perhaps some took less. One prover took the remedy in the midst of a terrible cold, and so we eliminated her from the proving as it would have been difficult to know which symptoms to attribute to the remedy. Another prover discovered she was pregnant shortly before remedy distribution, so we only allowed her to put the vial under her pillow. We were now left with 10 viable provers. As Master
Provers, one of us was concerned that there would be no symptoms, and the other was afraid there would be overreact ions. The truth is that with most provings, the results lie somewhere in between. We had one prover who experienced a remarkable cure of her pain from rheumatoid arthritis. And yet, at the other extreme, we had a prover who suffered terribly from the mumps.
When hearing information of this sort, it is important to remember that, as Hahnemann said, no matter what the results of the proving, we are all in a higher state of health or awareness from the experience. Not only have we helped to expand our materia medica, but one is a healthier person as a result. The kind of introspection that one experiences during a proving alone is a mind expanding treat. So, rather than feel as though it is some form of Russian Roulette, be confident that whether you temporarily suffer or not with unusual symptoms, somehow, you will be a better person for the experience.
Some of the general reactions were quite interesting- some provers got angry with their supervisors, and some were angry with us, the master provers. One prover who had seemed to enjoy every moment of the proving got quite upset after finding out it had been "a grotesques substance". At the extraction meeting six weeks later, almost all the provers said they would take part in another proving. Both of us, the master provers, slept with the remedy under our pillows
and experienced strong symptoms- Robert Stewart called it a feeling of being a depressed Nux vomica. Irritability was a strong factor for everyone. As always there was a lot of guessing as to the substance they were proving. Not surprisingly, there were some close guesses- one prover thought it was a cockroach, another prover's wife believed it was a fly.
At the extraction meeting, there was a lot of talk about putrification, rotting garbage, maggots, corruption. excrement, toilets, sewers, tunnels and dirty water. There were many dreams of water, it was probably our most common symptom. There were lakes, oceans, beaches, dirty, drear beaches, public bathhouses- two provers dreampt of Mediterranean scenes by the sea. There was floating on water, swimming in water, falling into water and so on. The case that follows was based somewhat on the numerous dreams of water along with other fly symptoms.
There were many other vivid dreams; dreams of tunnels, houses underground, trap doors, cellars and tree roots. There were dreams of the dead, dreams of fire, dreams of houses and dreams of floating, flying and lightness. One prover dreampt of being covered in excrement (flies lay their eggs in excrement), and another dreampt of being a baby elephant covered in mud or oil.
There were many sexual dreams and we found it interesting that the repertory does not cover sexual dreams. Four of our provers had recurring sexual dreams, one more dreampt of rape, and three others had recurring dreams of gay men or homosexual issues. And there were dreams of committing unlawful acts or being the victim of a crime, as well as threatening dreams. One prover also dreamt of imprisonment, while two dreamt of the police and two others of soldiers.
Among the other mind symptoms that were revealed at the extraction meeting was a general confusion of mind. It seems this is a common symptom in provings, possibly because of the introspection and the common expectations of symptoms. In this case though, there was some interesting gender confusion. One young child who's parent's had both taken the remedy, called his mother, Daddy and his father, Mommy. Our most reliable prover had strong feelings of
lurking homosexuality. He felt men were watching him, touching him and were attracted to him. He admitted to a homophobic reaction, one that he believed was an entirely new symptom. There was an unusual fastidiousness- three provers said that they could not stop cleaning until everything was in its place, and this was for them a definitely new symptom. The other strong mind symptom was a sensation of isolation, which is listed as a rubric in the Complete Repertory, but without remedies within the rubric. It was a strong feeling within the group- one supervisor said she only wanted to communicate via email (this was against our instructions), another supervisor stopped communicating in any way at all, leaving that prover feeling completely isolated. Many others expressed this sensation, in this language. In addition, those same provers expressed feelings of self pity- its not clear if these two ideas would exist separately or if they fed on each other. The feeling was strong enough for us to use the rubrics, pities herself and forsaken feeling, (or delusion forsaken).
Physically, the most common symptom was a heaviness in the limbs (heaviness, externally), and for some a heaviness alternating with lightness. Going along with this was an awkwardness in the extremities- seven out of ten provers felt one or both of these sensations. There was also numbness of the extremities, particularly the arms. And, there were many skin eruptions. Every prover who had ever had herpetic eruptions, had an outbreak during the proving. The good news
is that these same provers had the longest period of relief ever, following the proving. It is clearly a useful remedy for herpetic eruptions as you will see in the following case. Lack of vital heat and a desire for chocolate must also be mentioned, as well as a kind of constipation that did not include the urge to go (urging absent?, must strain?, insufficient?, incomplete?, unsatisfactory?). The physical symptoms (and mind symptoms) that have been mentioned here were shared by at least four out of ten provers, and therefore seem unmistakably part of this remedy. But what does a master prover do with the symptoms from one really sensitive prover?
After much deliberation, we decided that every one of his symptoms was valid. We came to this conclusion after recalling the way Jeremy Sherr spoke of his especially sensitive prover- a woman who was able to get so close to the remedy he was proving that she almost became one with the remedy (his description of the Eagle proving was a very powerful explanation of this phenomenon). For us, prover #5 was just such a prover. Even before he took the remedy he was having sensations (he smelled the remedy and it smelled like "quite ripe peaches"). He was drawn to garbage and the brackish water in the subway, he constantly used language like "being surrounded by corruption and decay", he saw garbage "moving", in fact he said he believed the remedy was about garbage and that the remedy was degrading and decomposing.
A week into the proving he opened a new book to a random page and it was about maggots cleaning pearls- and he knew this was important enough to write up in his journal. His wife (who got a bit fed up with all his new symptoms from the proving) tells him that it is a sea worm or a fly. He had many skin eruptions, though after the proving his herpes did not erupt for at least another year, and his TMJ of one year duration resolved completely. Our magic prover felt like
an "animal with his eyes darting about", and he had visions of a dead squirrel with beetles and wasps burrowing into its collapsed eyes. Lots of other images (listed below) haunted him, and he was the prover who had many fears and obsessive thoughts about homosexuality. Every symptom that he mentioned seemed relevant- and it was clear to us at the extraction meeting. He enjoyed the experience- you could tell by the way he made his report. He seemed to feel that he had been possessed temporarily and it was an interesting trip. He enjoyed being a fly.
Before we list the rubrics that Musca Domestica should join, we must mention the two provers at the extreme ends of reaction. Prover #1 took the remedy and a few days later found himself quite ill with the mumps. Did this remedy give him the mumps? Its such an interesting question- and quite an unanswerable one. It certainly pushed him over an edge. He must have been exposed to the mumps (he is a school teacher), and it is not a stretch of the imagination to assume that the remedy helped the disease develop. Would he have gotten the mumps without the remedy? We will never know. But it is particularly interesting that Culex Musca (mosquito) has "pain as if he were going to have mumps" (Kent). And then there is prover #2 who had been suffering with severe arthritic pains for 15 years. She tested positive for Rheumatoid Arthritis and her main complaint was that she felt heavy, tired and old with the pain. When she first took the remedy she fell asleep for a nap and dreamt that she was flying from room to room, flying all over her house. When she woke up, her pain was gone. Throughout the proving,she experienced many other symptoms as well, but her pain never returned. It was probably not a simmillimum (her case is not "cleared") but it was obviously curative on this level.
A proving is a journey- an honorable journey for all involved. It should be embarked on with care and caution but without fear. We hope to encourage many more Hahnemanian provings, not only to increase and strengthen our materia medica, but to increase awareness and strengthen the homeopathic community.
REPERTORY ADDITIONS FOR MUSCA DOMESTICA
FOOD AND DRINK:
beer, desires, in morning
chocolate, desires (provers 3, 4, 7, 9)
food, sour, desires (provers 2, 9)
food, water, aversion (prover 5)
food, cheese, desires (prover 5)
cheese, aggr. (5)
heaviness, externally (provers 1, 2, 4, 5, 6)
heaviness, internally, (2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
alternating with lightness (provers 2, 3)
heat, vital, lack of (provers 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
heat, alt w/ chill (5)
lassitude, (2, 6, 9)
paralysis, sensation of (2)
weakness, (nearly all provers had some form of weakness)
weakness, with restlessness
weather, storm, during agg (5)
activity, desire for, exercise, physical
anger, easily (2, 3)
ANXIETY, (provers 5, 6, 8)
anxiety, time is set (4)
anxiety, when alone
anxiety, with congestion
anxiety, driving from place to place
anxiety, health (1, 2, 4,)
aversion, people, certain, old women (5)
awkwardness (2, 5, 7)
company, aversion to (5)
confounding, objects and ideas (8, 9)
confusion of mind, (provers 1, 4, 7, 8, 9)
confusion of mind, identity, sexual (provers 3, 5, 6, 8, 10)
conscientious, about trifles (6)
cursing (1, 2, 3, 5) (many provers used the word “shit” often- even during the extraction meeting)
delusion, he, she is being watched (prover 5)
delusion, died, and is alive again (prover 1)
delusion, 1000 fingers scratching his body
delusion, dirty, foul, everything is
delusion, floating on a man's back (2)
delusion, followed by men
delusion, followed by garbage
delusion, hears retching (5)
delusion, garbage is beautiful (5)
delusion, garbage is moving (5)
delusion, beautiful things, look, everyone (9)
delusion, frenzy of hands while washing face (5)
delusion, animal,is (5)
delusion, eyes darting like an animal (5)
delusion, visions of, dead animals with insects eating out eyes
delusion, body and mind are separated (5)
delusion, inferior and superior at same time (2)
delusion, lighter (2, 3)
delusion, metamorphis (1)
delusion, vision like a kaleidoscope (1)
delusion, sees 100 eyes (5)
delusion, sees insect eggs and fish eggs (5)
delusion, of maggots, vermin, insects
delusion, more masculine (3)
delusion, separated from group (9)
delusion, surrounded by corruption, decay (5)
delusion, talking as if asleep (1)
delusion, unappreciated (1, 2, 3, 9)
delusion, water ,foul
delusion, younger (2)
desires, love, romantic (9)
desires, vacation, holiday (5)
dreams, babies, sick
dreams, black, oily, glob
dreams, dead friends
dreams, dead relatives
dreams, disgusting (provers 5, 9)
dreams, dirt (prover 5)
dreams, dogs, black
dreams, dying, of cholera (5)
dreams, excrements (prover 5; many provers used the word “shit”)
dreams, falling (prover 8)
dreams, falling into water
dreams, fire (prover 6, 8, 9)
dreams, flying (prover 2)
dreams, flying from room to room
dreams, floating (prover 2)
dreams, glass buildings
dreams, hair, red
dreams, houses (provers 2, 5, 7, 8)
dreams, Italy, Mediterranean images
dreams, lewd, lascivious
dreams, lewd, lascivious with orgasm
dreams, looking down from above
dreams, marriage, weddings
dreams, picking sores until they bled (5)
dreams, police (provers 5, 6)
dreams, soldiers (provers 5, 7)
dreams, red dress
dreams, Russian soldier, being, Grand Armee (5)
dreams, sexual violence
dreams, threatening (threats?) (provers 3, 6, 8, 9)
dreams, trolls, crones
dreams, water (provers 5, 6, 8, 9; recurring dreams)
dreams, water, dirty (prover 5)
dreams, water, falling into
dreams, water, people swimming in (prover 5, 6)
dreams, water, swimming in (prover 5, 6)
dreams, water, falling into (prover 9)
dwelling on past disagreeable circumstances (2, 3)
elation (2, 4, 5)
fastidious (3, 6, 9)
fear, accident (6)
fear, for others
fear, homosexuality (5)
fear, abandonment by wife (5)
fear, men, African American (9)
fear, sexual assault (9)
forgetfulness (3, 4, 5, 8, 9)
forgotten, something, feels as if he had (8, 9)
forsaken, sensation of isolation (1, 2, 3, 9)
hopeless (3, 2, 9)
impatience, with children (1, 2, 3, 9)
indolence (1, 8)
loathing, self (2, 3)
love, of opposite sex
memory, weakness of (provers 3, 7)
memory, weakness of, for proper names (prover 7, 3 times)
memory, weakness of, for words (prover 5)
mistakes, talking, words (5)
mistakes, gender (6)
mistakes, in localities (8)
mistakes, about objects (8, 9)
mistakes, names (7)
pities herself, (provers 1, 2, 3, 9)
reproaches, others (9)
restlessness, with pain
sadness (provers 3, 5, 7)
sadness, before menses
sensitive, to noise (9)
high pitched noise (9)
stupefaction, as if intoxicated (1, 3)
sympathy, desires (1, 2, 3, 9)
suicidal thoughts (2, 3)
thoughts, rapid (1)
weeping, tearful mood, tendency (provers 3, 7)
weeping, causeless (7)
in am (4)
light headed (6)
drifts or falls (5, 6)
falling to left (5)
dry, flaking, scalp (5)
headache, frontal, pressure (6)
dull, gripping like too much caffeine (9)
dull occiput (1)
throbbing head and above eyes (6)
pressure, frontal (6)
pressure temples (5)
head pain before menses (3, 4)
sty right eye
discharge right eye
eyelid opens and shuts involuntarily
as if a bug was flying in peripheral sight (prover #7)
blurry when reading (4)
eruption, oozing, earlobe
noises, like honey (5)
sounds are stretched (5)
inflammation, parotid gland (prover 1)
eruption, herpetic, lip (provers 3, 5, 8)
eruption, herpetic, lip, lower (provers 5, 8)
eruption, herpetic, mouth, corners of (prover 6)
(3 provers had at least a 6 month “cure” of their herpes)
eruptions, forehead (prover 5; new symptom persisted)
eruptions, eyebrows, painful to touch (5)
eruption, over left eye (5)
mouth, hemorrhage, gums (provers 7, 9)
mouth, saliva, in gushes
mouth, saliva, profuse
mouth, salivation with mumps (prover 1)
taste, lemons in mouth (2)
gums, spongy (9)
lower gum line feels thin and stings (5)
chancre sore on tongue (6)
chancre sore on lip (3)
breath, odor, fetid (5)
crack, lip, split (5)
frothy mucous on waking
toothache while eating chocolate (4)
teeth ache (6)
pain right lower teeth (7)
odors, imagined and real, fruit, peaches
odors, imagined and real sulfur
acrid smell about me (10)
odor of chemicals in air - couldn't breathe (2)
the remedy smelled like quite ripe peaches (5)
acute sense of smell(5)
sore throat (8)
sore throat >tea (4)
sore throat w/ears tickling (4)
pain, sub-mandular, left side
mucous, throat, stuck
pain and gas (3, 5)
appetite ceaseless (3)
appetite wanting for dinner (3)
upset stomach >drinking cold water (5)
pain sharp (6)
pain w/ belching (5, 7)
appetite wanting (4)
spikes or flashes of nausea (8)
sour eructations (5)
pain, sharp over bowel
Back/neck: sensation of gap in mid-back; as if back
were separated (5)
pain, nape neck (4)
dull, throbbing pain
neck pulling to left
pain, mammae, nipples, in men
pain, mammae, menses, before (prover 4; new symptom)
swelling, mammae, menses, before (prover 4; new symptom)
pain, gas, center chest, radiating
awkwardness (provers 2, 3, 5, 7)
awkwardness, lower limbs
numbness, insensibility (provers 4, 8, 9)
numbness, insensibility, upper limbs (provers 4, 9)
numbness, lower limbs
numbness, arms on waking
shoulders hurt laying on side (7) in bed
right shoulder ache ext to wrist (7) in bed
ache, upper ext.
ache, upper ext. at night (8)
ache upper arms
cracking pain groin <-- walking (6)
pain, lancinating, knee
soreness, feet, soles
throbbing pain, hip
eruption, herpetic (provers 3, 6)
eruption, boil, labia (6)
sexual, desire, increased (provers 2, 6, 9)
masturbation, desire to (6)
menses, painful, dysmenorrhea (prover 4)
menses, brown discharge (prover 4; new symptom)
menses, profuse (prover 4; new symptom)
menses, intermittent, (prover 4, 9)
menses, spotting (6)
pain, lower vaginal region (6)
pain, ovary, left
sharp pain, cervix (prover 9)
sharp pain, left ovaries (prover 4; new symptom)
fever, high (4)
male, sexual desire increased,
pain, testes, pinching (R. and radiating to thigh)
night sweats (7)
rectum, constipation (provers 4, 5, 7, 9)
insufficient, incomplete, unsatisfactory
excessive flatulence, smelly (5, 7)
color, light brown
shortness of breath
ERUPTIONS (provers 3, 5, 6, 7, 8)
eruptions, herpetic (same provers)
boil right upper back (6)
eruption, cervical area (5)
rash, red, above L axilla after bathing (6)
rash, flat, pink, scaly on chest (6)
bumps, raised, red, upper thigh (8)
skin, greasy (5)
deep, soporific sleep (5)
fetal position, right side (9)
snoring during nap (9)
overwhelming desire to sleep (1)
deep unrefreshing sleep (5)
waking groggy (1, 3)
sleeping early (5)
waking late (7)
musty smelling (6)
SEEMINGLY CURED SYMPTOMS:
TMJ of 1 year duration disappeared (prover 5)
Rheumatoid Arthritis, more than 10 years of pain disappeared
Numbers of cases of herpetic eruptions disappeared for at
least 6 months
mouth, dry, before sleep (had the symptom for 3 months
before the proving)
NEW REPERTORY RUBRICS FOR MUSCA DOMESTICA:
mind, dreams, sexual
mind, dreams, sexual, violent (rape)
mind, dreams, mediterranean scene
mind, dreams, beach
mind, dreams, homosexual
mind, dreams, men, gay
mind, dreams, trolls, crones, etc.
mind, dreams, corruption
mind, dreams, decomposition, decay, rotting, etc.
mind, dreams, toilet, sewer, etc
mind, dreams, tunnel
mind, dreams, boats
mind, dreams, grass
mind, delusion scratched by 1000 fingers
IDEAS DIFFICULT TO REPERTORIZE:
prover #4 had image of picking sores until they bled, just before taking the remedy.
prover #7 feels this is the spirit of an insect or rodent
prover #9 said “life is a hopeless dump” the word shit comes up often with provers 1, 2, 3
prover # 1 says “i feel like I’ve woken from the dead” after mumps, and “I feel like I’ve gone through a metamorphosis”.
prover #1 had kaleidoscopic images
provers # 9, 10 had paranoia about black men (mind, fear, ?) symptoms surrounding car problems-- mixed up keys, locked keys in car, car went off road (provers 3, 6, 8)
many strange or perverted sexual thoughts and dreams
(see dreams sexual) guilty pain in stomach (4)
SPECIAL PROVER’S SYMPTOMS: (not rubrics) (#5)
del. frenzy of hands when washing face
del. the water on his wrist looks like many eyes
del. lint on robe looks like nest of insects or fish eggs
del. sees hundreds of eyes in soap foam
del. garbage moved
del. surrounded by corruption and decay
del. was in Grand Armee and dying of cholera on his return from Russia
del. feels like an animal with eyes darting about
del. hears retching in subway
vision of dead squirrel with beetles and wasps burrowing into its collapsed eyes
homophobia, fear/ obsession with homosexuality
thinks, sees, “Italian” people and things (also #2 & others,
desire to stay home and protect wife
fears wife is leaving him
flinched- thought wife would hit him
had a compulsive need to buy things
was drawn to brackish water in subway
he thought remedy was degrading and decomposing
he opened a book to random page and it was about maggots
his wife guesses that the remedy is a sea worm or a fly
he thought the remedy was about garbage- the word garbage
keeps coming up
WORDS OF PROVERS-- MUSCA DOMESTICA
(Day 00 is the 1st day of taking the remedy)
Day/ Prover #/ words
(note: we believe that the remedy was related to an outbreak of mumps for prover #1see Culex.)
01 #1(M) I am experiencing undulating sensations.
03 #1 my thoughts are moving quickly (before the mumps).
03 #1 I was cursing a lot today.
04 #1 I have kaleidoscopic images in my mind. (before the mumps)
04 #1 I’m talking, but I feel like I’m asleep.
04 #1 I was confused in the subway today.
04 #1 I feel friendless and forsaken.
05 #1 I’m afraid of showing my weakness.
05 #1 I’ve always had to swallow other people’s shit.
05 #1 I feel like I take care of everyone and no one takes care of me.
05 #1 I could lie in bed in my own shit and pee and choke on my saliva and no one would care for me.
05 #1 I’m glad I’m sick and my supervisor has to take care of me.
08 #1 I feel like I’ve gone through a metamorphosis (during the mumps).
13 #1 It’s like waking from the dead. (after recovery from the mumps).
(note: we believe that the remedy was physically curative for prover #2 (Rheumatoid arthritis))
00 #2(F) After I took the 2nd dose of the remedy, I laid down for a nap. I had a dream where I became very light-- and I was flying in my house from room to room to room, looking down at my husband. I felt light and young. When I woke up, I was pain free for the first time in 15 years.
00 #2 The aches and the heaviness and the pain are gone now.
00 #2 I feel younger and happier.
01 #2 I feel 500 pounds lighter.
01 #2 I feel strong, self confident and decisive- assertive.
01 #2 I feel clear and focused.
01 #2 I feel like I’m floating on a man’s back.
02 #2 all my doubt is gone, I feel peppy.
03 #2 I don’t feel quite as light, but I still feel good.
03 #2 I was cursing a lot today.
03 #2 I am a living catalyst, I help others reach their goals but I don’t do it for myself.
04 #2 I’m angry about being hurt in the past.
08 #2 I feel so weak- I can’t move.
08 #2 I want to kill myself.
09 #2 I feel guilty for screaming at my nephew.
10 #2 I feel tired, guilty and I hate myself and I want to kill myself.
24 #2 I feel like someone injected or paralyzed me but my brain is still going.
25 #2 I feel like an airplane that crashed
26 #2 I am without friends and I listen to everyone else’s stuff.
29 #2 I feel like I have cancer.
(prover #2 repeated the remedy, under advisement, over the last 3 years. Her previously constant
pain of 15 years never returned. She is now doing very well on Cantharis.)
00 #3(F) I feel unheard (weeping).
01 #3 I feel groggy when awake.
01 #3 I feel out of place.
03 #3 exercise makes my insides sing- all my physical heaviness, the swampiness, the drudgery, is better.
04 #3 I need to clean my house completely.
04 #3 I am feeling more masculine while wanting to be more feminine and yet I feel the masculinity has moved me forward.
05 #3 I have a memory for shit.
08 #3 I feel heavy.
15 #3 I feel hopeless.
15 #3 I feel suicidal.
before the 1st dose #4 I had an image of picking sores until they bled
00 #4(F) I have numbness in my upper body.
00 #4 I have increased energy after the 3rd dose.
01 #4 I can’t believe I overslept! I needed to get to this meeting on time!!!!
02 #4 I felt unusually calm when I had dinner with my mother.
04 #4 I have a dull, gripping headache like too much caffeine.
04 #4 I feel pregnant.
08 #4 I’m dead tired.
09 #4 My body is dead.
09 #4 I am unusually forgetful today.
11 #4 I have a terrible flu- I feel sick, sick, sick.
16 #4 I am worried about going back to my boring, bland life now that the proving is over.
(prover #5 was our special prover)
just before the 1st dose #5 smelled the open vial and “it smelled like quite ripe peaches”
00 #5(M) I felt a sense of corruption between two gay men.
00 #5 I jumped when I saw garbage bags moving in the dumpster.
00 #5 The water on my wrist looks like many eyes.
00 #5 The lint on my robe looks like a nest of insects or fish eggs.
00 #5 a man in the subway rubbed up against me and I felt oily and corrupt
00 #5 a co-worker asked me if I had “crack” for lunch.
00 #5 I flinched when my wife gestured at me because I thought she was going to hit me.
00 #5 I find myself thinking of Italian things- I saw an Italian friend and later I noticed an Italian haircut.
00 #5 I feel unbalanced- I had to catch myself against a wall today.
00 #5 There was a frenzy of hands like a shiva when I was rinsing my face.
01 #5 I saw hundreds of eyes in my soap foam this morning.
01 #5 I feel like I’m being watched.
01 #5 I think the remedy is of the earth- degrading and decomposing.
01 #5 I felt aggressive contempt for an old lady.
01 #5 I saw a transvestite and I couldn’t look at him for shame.
01 #5 I feel a compulsive need to buy things.
01 #5 I am surrounded by corruption and decay.
02 #5 I feel outside my body.
03 #5 the word garbage keeps coming up for me.
03 #5 I don’t want to speak to my supervisor, I don’t want to expose myself.
03 #5 I had a vision of being in the Grand Armee and dying of cholera on my return from Russia.
04 #5 I had a vision of a dead squirrel with beetles and wasps burrowing into its vacant and collapsed eyes.
04 $5 I feel like crap, rotten inside, foul, I feel like crying.
05 #5 I need to look into people because part of me is in there.
05 #5 my wife thinks this remedy is a seaworm or a fly.
05 #5 I thought I heard retching on the subway platform but nobody was there.
06 #5 I found my fly open twice today.
06 #5 I feel oily and greasy.
06 #5 I tripped down the subway steps twice today.
06 #5 I didn’t want my wife to go to work because I was afraid she would die.
09 #5 I’m afraid my wife is leaving me.
09 #5 I want to stay with my wife and protect her.
09 #5 This proving has gone on for 3 lifetimes already, but I have to continue for the sake of homeopathy.
10 #5 When I opened a new book to a random page it was describing how maggots clean pearls.
10 #5 I am drawn to brackish water between the subway tracks.
11 #5 I want to avoid people- so I feel like an animal with my eyes darting all around.
12 #5 I want to go on a vacation so I’ going to avoid my supervisor.
12 #5 I am frantic to buy new clothes- its like being on cocaine.
13 #5 I feel highly stressed today.
21 #5 I think this proving is about garbage.
01 #6(F) I was afraid today of having a car crash.
02 #6 my son called me Daddy today (prover #6 is the mother).
08 #6 I have a strong desire to masturbate today.
10 #6 I’m overwhelmed by details.
18 #6 I am cleaning spontaneously today.
19 #6 I feel an anxiety in the pit of my stomach--”what’s it all about?”
01 #7(M) My wife says I am quiet and pensive.
02 #7 I can’t believe I let myself take this remedy- it’s the spirit of an insect or rodent.
15 #7 I’m confused a lot of the time- I forgot a very important person’s name today.
17 #7 I forgot the name of a friend I’ve known all my life.
23 #7 I feel so sad, I wept before going to bed tonight.
00 #8(F) I can’t put my thoughts in order.
03 #8 I blanked out and ran a red light.
03 #8 I forgot my car keys.
13 #8 I have no motivation to work or play.
13 #8 I have such severe anxiety- it’s like a curtain or a maze.
14 #8 I feel as if 1000 fingers are scratching my whole body.
26 #8 I’m confused again- I tried to open my house with the car keys and my car with the house keys.
27 #8 I’m confused- I entered the closet thinking it’s the bathroom
28 #8 Again today, I left the keys in my car while it was running and I locked the doors.
02 #9 (F) Life is a hopeless dump.
02 #9 I feel distant from everyone.
03 #9 I feel very sensitive to noise and dirty air.
03 #9 I helped my friend move and I felt taken advantage of.
04 #9 I feel nervous, I’m very irritated by high pitched noises.
04 #9 I feel a strong urge to clean.
04 #9 I forgot the oven was on for hours!
05 #9 I am very intolerant of noise.
05 #9 I’m nagging my kids constantly.
07 #9 the people on the subway seem young and beautiful.
07 #9 I’m paranoid about the black men in the subway.
07 #9 the people on the subway seem young and beautiful.
08 #9 I cleaned my house thoroughly.
11 #9 my life is sordid, at a dead end.
11 #9 my isolation is absolute, it doesn’t matter if I’m here or not.
11 #9 I long for sunnyness, tenderness, intimacy.
12 #9 I was afraid the main in the subway with the raincoat would flash me.
00 #2(F) After I took the 1st dose of the remedy, I laid down for a nap. I had a dream where I became very light-- and I was flying in my house from room to room to room, looking down at my husband. I felt light and young. When I woke up, I was pain free for the first time in 15 years.
00 #2 I also dreamt I was flying or floating on a man’s back.
00 #2 I am a white ghost floating in an old house. I felt like I was dreaming at the same time that I was awake.
01 #2 I am a soldier riding a horse on a beach while I’m looking at a house under the water.
01 #2 I’m on vacation. I’m wearing a red dress and I look like a hooker.
03 #2 I dreamt I was in Italy, on the beach. I felt very young and light.
03 #2 I was in Italy, wearing only a towel. I was with old friends and family and there were 2 blonde labrador retrievers, one of them was blind.
03 #2 I was living with some girls that I know, but one of them I can’t stand.
00 #3(F) I was a troll lady with enormous red hair. Monkeys were scuttling off into the distance.
03 #3 I dreamt of wild horses.
03 #3 I dreamt of Spanish girls with beautiful blue eyes. I caressed them.
03 #3 I run into my old boyfriend and another woman. I woke up feeling lonely and really sad about all the hurt I felt with him.
12 #3 I’m at a nudist colony where there are people with gross, saggy, fleshy bodies. There is an “examiner” who threatens to dry up my period (menses) and turn me into an old crone.
28 #3 I’m getting married and a gay friend comes to my wedding. I’m so happy to see him.
05 #4(F) There were monsters in elevators and escalators. The monsters are sucking people up- many people are dying.
01 #5(M) I’m in a green terraced city. My wife is subserviently waitressing to her friends and to some greedy gay men. I suddenly realized how much her abortion affected me.
01 #5 There is a baby- and it is really sick. There is a choice between the “Gay men’s health crisis center” or “Pilgrim”.
02 #5 I’m in a crypt on a raft in the ocean. The “good” revolutionaries machine gun the “bad” guys until they become liquified by the bullets.
03 #5 I need to take a shit- so I squat down behind a railroad seat and I go into a coffee filter. I put it in my underwear. I see an old friend and his girlfriend come by. They are porno stars and they tell me to come and watch. I am repulsed by the corrupt sexuality.
03 #5 I go to a beach in Greece with my wife. The cops come after us and want to fine us for being there and they are threatening us and looking for a bribe.
06 #5 I am buying a house with great oak trim and expensive cellars. One wing is all bathrooms, newly tiled. Is the house $35,000 or $350,000?
08 #5 I am with my supervisor on a ranch in the tropics taking pictures of drugged young men. There is a greasy movie director there making a film.
11 #5 I am with Susan Sonz and Robert Stewart (master provers) and my supervisor and we are working on an assembly line.
12 #5 I’m with my wife on the beach. I woke up with a sudden sexual desire- and my wife fends me off. So I go back to sleep and dream of being on the same beach again.
13 #5 I’m in a depopulated factory town. I go into an old house and it’s flooded. There are cats on the floor. I make some hot dogs to eat and they turn into grub worms.
14 #5 I dreamt that an old friend of my supervisor has gone crazy- she is in tears.
21 #5 my father got chewed up by a shark.
02 #6(F) I’m in a corporation. I have to perform an operation on the kitchen floor. There’s so much blood- I’m overwhelmed by it.
03 #6 I’m in a church, outside of a pew with a man who raped and murdered a child. I get out my checkbook.
04 #6 There was a boat burning on the water.
04 #6 the police are looking for us.
04 #6 I dreamt again of a corporation- but Ally McBeal cannot buy it for me.
05 #6 I’m at a show at the Collesium. There are 3 large goldfish in the show.
08 #6 I’m in a large glass building overlooking the water. I go swimming.
11 #6 I dreamt of my dead mother.
12 #6 I’m looking for a shower. I wander into the men’s shower room. They get really upset and threaten me.
13 #6 I dreamt I was on a boat on the ocean.
15 #6 I dreamt I was sitting on some damp grass.
19 #6 I’m traveling through tunnels to get to a movie theatre.
02 #7(M) I’m repairing an old house. I’m laying bathroom tiles.
03 #7 There are bombs falling from the sky. Soldiers are attacking and bombing.
09 #7 I see my wife with a young man. I feel really betrayed.
01 #8(F) I’m living on an island. I see some people up on a balcony- some of them are falling off and they are being sucked up into a sewer grate. Two girlfriends of mine drive off in an old car to catch a boat. I heard that the car caught fire and the women were burnt up.
01 #8 My son is stuck in a toilet, head downward.
01 #8 A gangster of humble origin wants to hire me for an “intelligence” job.
01 #8 I dreamt of an old friend who died 3 years ago.
01 #8 I had a very erotic dream and I had a huge orgasm
03 #8 I went to the nuns to ask for something. the Mother Superior is very grouchy and unhelpful.
00 #10(M)I dreamt of an ugly black dog
00 #10 I am seducing a woman and my wife walks in. I am afraid that I have deceived the other woman by not telling her I’m married.
00 #10 I am standing at a urinal. The man next to me says I have a very large penis and asks if he can touch it. I realize the bathroom is full of perverts.
00 #10 I’m in a large stadium where a strange lacrosse type game is being played on uncut grass. The ball is a large flat pillow. I realize I’m barefoot and I look for my boots.
00 #10 I’m in an office with an attractive woman. I turn off the lights-- but then all the people return.
01 #10 I dreamt of someone with a large tumor on his left shoulder.
21 #10 I am looking down from above; there are lots of people swimming in a lake and I am concerned they might drown.
27 #10 My wife is calling out to me--”where are you?” I feel anxious and frightened for my family.
27 #10 I dreamt of tunneling underground.
27 #10 I saw a black glob of an oily substance.
27 #10 I am alone in a big house. I go outside. I am worried about the rioting of Black Americans. A house is on fire- so I look for a hose.